Absence makes the heart….
Absence makes the heart grow fonder…but fondness makes the absence longer.
Everyone knows long distance relationships are no fun. Obviously you never get to see each other, you can’t goto the movies together, there’s no holding hands or hugging. Distance just takes away all the fun stuff! The invention of video chat makes long distance relationships at least somewhat bearable these days. You can sort-of watch movies together but passing the popcorn may prove slightly disastrous for your computers. Holding hands is more like high-fiving your screen and hugging just proves to be a little awkward. But being able to see each other makes things just a little nicer.
Being so far away from each other it takes a little more effort to show them that you still kind of like them. David will be the first to admit that he is not good at the “romantic crap”. (Truth be told…he’s pretty good at it when he tries). David left very early in the morning on my birthday. I actually don’t really remember it at this point but I do remember walking around the quiet, empty house after he left and discovering little notes he had written on windows, mirrors, and shower tiles for DAYS after he left. It also took me twice as many days to get the white paint he used off of everything, bless his little heart.
I’ve already sent 3 care packages to him, and that was all within the first week! Things like his favorite little raw pickled pork sticks () from the Asian market, to little notes, to steaks from his favorite butcher, to clean underwear. Hey, the guys not used to doing his own laundry any more, the wife duty doesn’t stop just because there’s 1700 miles between you.
David learned a long time ago that I’m not the ‘buy her flowers’ type of girl. If your gonna spend your money on me please don’t spend it something that I’m just going to watch die and wilt away to nothing. Get me something useful for goodness sakes! Like chocolate! Providing me something that i can stuff my face with and gain a few Pounds from is way better then sniffing some rose for 30 seconds. Or buy me an herb or house plant that I can attempt to keep alive with my black thumbs. Anything that appeals to my ‘granola’ side is sure to win my heart over faster then a wilting piece of nature ripped from the ground. So needless to say, the kid only bought me flowers once and since then I’ve made his life more difficult because he’s been forced to be ‘creative’ with his, once every two years, random gifts.
Perhaps one of the sweetest gifts I’ve ever received from him came in the mail yesterday. I expected to open this elegantly written envelope and read a letter stating he misses me, loves me, and can’t wait for me to come join him. Instead I opened the envelope and saw a short letter written in a handwriting I’ve never seen him write before and it was written in a very old world, Shakespeare style of writing. It was beautiful, breathtaking, and received 1,000 creative points from me!
It’s not all bubbles and hopscotch. We have moments of anger and sadness. We’ve hung up on each other. We’ve decided not to talk to each other till we see each other multiple times. I’m not going to lie, It’s really tough when you can’t have that time together to reconnect. But you push forward and make the best of it. It has forced us to have conversations, conversations we’ve never had before and that’s been fun. I actually think we’ve both learned new things about each other since he’s been gone.
I really do believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder…but only if you allow it to. It’s easy to drift apart, become bitter, or be paranoid about what the other person is doing. It really takes an effort on both people’s end. Somedays we fail miserably at it and then somedays we rock it. But no matter what, failing at this is not an option for either of us. I think the distance has brought us closer in a strange way but not close enough to where we are going to continue this long distance crap any longer then we have to.
So even if your significant other drives you crazy, gets on your last nerve, or maybe you’ve actually contemplated slowly poisoning them. Go plant a giant hug and kiss on their annoying self. Some of us don’t have that option. Or if you can’t bare the thought of that you can always ship them off too the wilderness in Washington state for almost 4 months and you may find yourself actually liking them again and maybe, just maybe, you might miss them…a little.