A Letter to the Lazy Mom; you’re not alone.
Dear Lazy mom,
Yes you, the one sitting on the couch in your yoga pants at 4 in the afternoon with a cup of hot coffee, hair in a pony tail, and kids no where to be seen. You are the mirror image of me. And i tip my girly hat to you.
I see these other moms with their larger then life SUVs, their perfectly curled hair, and even strutting around a fresh coat of lipstick. Who are they and how do they have time for lipstick?! They wait in the line at the elementary school to pick up their herd to tote them off to the evening activities of McDonalds drive through, soccer practice, ballet recital, and PTA meetings. Smiles graze across their faces but if you look closer you’ll see it. It’s in the eyes. Underneath the layers of concealer and mascara is the exhaustion, the stress, the “i’m so tired i wish i was sitting on my couch in my Yoga pants”.
You and I though, we’re not quite like the others. Some may call us lazy, but i call us Sane…but i use that word in the loosest of ways. The truth is, i value my time. My time to be ME. When i became a mother it changed me, but it didn’t define me. I am more then ‘just a mom’. I am a teacher, a mother, a friend, a wife, a daughter, an aunt, a sister and although I may not be the master, or even good at any of those identities, i know that i am all of those…not merely just one.
Just like you, I don’t want to be a slave to anyone…not even my children. I want to enjoy them, not be chained to them. If they must they can call us lazy, but it’s only becausewe refuse to make our schedules so tightly packed that we don’t even have time to stop and breathe.
I’m sure being the lazy mom you’ve realized certain things. Just because your lazy does not mean that your kids have dirty clothes, your house is a mess, or the dishes are never done. Now i will admit that our beds are never made, and frankly the people who make their beds with their 12 throw pillows and blanket folded neatly at the bottom of the bed freak me out a little. But i’ve noticed my house to be actually cleaner when i’m lazy. Maybe it is because i get rid of more stuff because i don’t feel like putting it away, maybe it’s because i’m not so hell bent on having scrubbed floors (swept is good enough) that i have more time to do other things. I take 3 minutes to empty the dishwasher right before we head outside to go for a walk. I throw a load of laundry in the dryer before we go to bed. It may not get folded for another two days, but that’s ok with me. It’s not hard to be lazy AND clean.
Sometimes i do daydream about what it would be like to have the nicely manicured nails and the freshly highlighted hair. Sometimes i dream of being ‘that woman’. The fashionable clothes, the cute boots, the hair appointment once a month. Oh, Sigh. But i’m too lazy (and too cheap). I’d much rather have time to sit around with my family at night over dinner instead of rushing off to another appointment, another meeting or another Yoga class. My yoga pants work just as well at home as they do in a fancy studio next to the blonde bombshells with the cute little outfits and matching shades of lipgloss.
You also let your children run free. Where are they now? Did you send them to their rooms to nap and now all you hear is the sounds of their voices whispering and creating some fantasy in their heads? Are they in the play room yelling at one other because they had that crayon first and you’re taking another sip of your coffee pretending that you don’t hear them and just waiting to see if they can manage to work this out between themselves? Is you’re dog scratching at the backdoor wanting inside but those 15 steps just aren’t enough to motivate you to get up and let him in? It’s nice outside, he should be happy he has a fenced in yard and should be enjoying the fresh air! Are you waiting until the last possible minute to start cooking supper before it’ll be bordering on bedtime snack and dinner all-in-one?
Ya, me neither.
I don’t know about you, but i enjoy not being busy. I do however enjoy being productive, but on my terms. If i feel like sitting down and taking a break…i do. If i feel like taking a walk…i do. If i feel like staying in Yoga pants all day long…you bet i do. And i enjoy it! I don’t feel bad about it all. I hope you don’t either. Nowhere in the mom manual did i read that you should be a slave to your home and family. It’s just not in there, trust me i looked.
As you guessed it, i’m writing you this letter…in my yoga pants, on my couch, with a cup of tea. My kids are yelling at me from their bunkbeds wondering if it’s snack time, if it’s time to get up, if dad is home yet. I’m trying to convince them i am sleeping, i don’t think it’s working. I’m being lazy. I hope you are too, for you deserve to be, and should be.
Please know that it’s ok to be lazy. It’s ok to not over do things, to rest, to listen to yourself and know when you’ve done enough. I’m listening to myself a lot lately and it seems i’ve spent years doing too much and now it’s ok to not do much at all. Please be proud of what you do. Love those children, read them stories, teach them things, care for them, be present. That is far greater of a gift you can give them then any activity.
So i say to one lazy mom to another: Let lazy mean that we are simply reviving our energies, we are laid back, well rested, we are creatively inactive, we are living in the moment. We are doing just fine and rushing around doing it all will only rush the little time we have on this earth.
Sincerly One Lazy mom to Another.