On Turning 10,957 Days Old
At 7,304 days old I entered into my 20s. Thinking this was the decade for me. I was finally out of my teenage years and I was so excited to see what my 20s would bring.
To be honest, it brought with them just as many, if not more, mistakes then my teen years. It brought love, joy, marriage, children, many many moves, heartaches, friendships, and so much more.
I know turning 30 brings on a lot of resistance from many. Even Ranger had some pretty big apprehensions about turning 30. For me? I won’t be turning 29 over and over again. I’m actually happy and quite excited to be heading out of my 20s. While I had many amazing things happen in my 20s I’m looking forward to seeing what the 30s are like.
At 30 I’m feeling like I’m finally finding my place within myself, at least I’m heading in the right direction. I’m content with where I am, I’m not searching for the next. It truly feels peaceful here. Even though in my mind I still have a million things I would like to change and work on within myself, it’s the motivation that is different now. It isn’t this hungry frantic self clawing at being different and doing more things. It’s a peaceful tug in my heart, a gentle nudge in this direction and that. It’s far easier to listen when your heart is calm and easier to react to gentle nudges then the clawing beast telling you to change.
Maybe this birthday is more optimistic then others. I love numbers, not in the dividing, fractions, multiplication of numbers. But in the way that numbers align and bring calmness. It’s my golden birthday which I find to be so soothing. Turning 30 on the 30th just seems like good measure.
To be honest having a birthday so close to Christmas and New Years has never been my favorite thing in the world. As I’ve grown up I’ve let go of being angry about it, it’s a silly thing to be angry about. I’ve never cared about gifts for my birthday, being so close to Christmas I always new that people had just spent a lot of money on Christmas gifts and probably can’t spend much more for a birthday falling a few short days afterwards. I’ve just always wanted my day to feel special. What brings on that special feeling? I’m finding out that it should have nothing to do with others, but has everything to do with myself and my attitude.
I’m looking forward to the next decade, the next 3,652 days. Things I will learn, the things I will do and accomplish within myself. The 30s hold hope and excitement for me. I’m excited to create many more stories in the next 10 years and can’t wait to share some with you.
(ohmygosh I will have teenage boys in 10 years, I may have just gotten my first grey hair, oy-vay.)