Reasons, Seasons, or a Lifetime
Two years into this journey and I’m starting to forget all the goodbyes. Not the people themselves, but the goodbyes. There are some goodbyes that weigh on the soul more than others but they all leave their imprint.
In two short weeks we get to say Goodbye to our fellow Ranger family we’ve grown to know and love. I felt like I knew them before we even met them. We had lived in the same house they lived in at Lake Chelan, we had brought things with us to the new house that they had left behind at their old house. The enormous garden in Lake Chelan that I tried to tame, they had started. It’s like i’ve known this woman forever, yet its been less than a year. Parts of us are torn from the same cloth. We have the same struggles. But most importantly neither of us are good with the small talk. We dove straight into the hard stuff right off the bat. Which was both a relief and comforting.
Not only are we saying goodbye to friends but a dear Grandmother passed away this week back in the midwest. Such an amazing woman who made me feel so welcome and a part of the family right off the bat. The strange thing was that I knew her before. I worked with a woman at my first waistressing job down in Florida while attending college. I’ve never met anyones Doppelganger until her. They were exactly the same and to this day it makes me smile. Unable to make it back for the funeral we’re really having to find out how to deal with these things when they come up. My mind is still blank and fuzzy but hopefully someday I might have something to say on the matter of saying goodbye when you’re so far away. Right now, it’s just empty.
I’ve always hung on very closely to the quote “People come into your life for a Reason, A Season, or A Lifetime”. My lifetime list of people is incredibly short, my Seasons list is a handful, but my Reasons list goes on for days.
Goodbyes are never easy but that doesn’t mean they have to be incredibly hard or sad. Maybe I’m understanding the Buddhist more than I thought I was and their “The Root of suffering is attachment” theory. Nothing is ours in this lifetime. These people we become attached to are not ours. So rejoicing with them on their new adventure is what I choose to do rather than be consumed with sadness that they are leaving.
The first Ranger Wife who took me under her wing displayed so many characteristics I hope to grow into someday. She was filled with compassion and love and she let her guard down and people into her heart and home. Countless times. Then inevitably they’d move on and she would celebrate with them and cheer them forward. I’m sure she was sad, but she showed love and joy instead.
It’d be easier to close off. To stop letting herself get close to people because chances are they will only be around for a season. Literally. She was obviously in my life for a reason. A very big reason. To be open, and inviting. To see the world on a smaller scale and know that we’re all in this together and just because we don’t speak and may never see each other again means very little. Because we touched each others lives and made an imprint on our hearts.
When you imprint on a heart is doesn’t wash away with the next tide. It doesn’t fade over time in the sun. It doesn’t wilt in the heat. It’s forever.
My heart will never be too full, it will always have room for one more. And one more after that.